Simplelooking for a nice guy

Added: Ajay Foreman - Date: 27.01.2022 12:05 - Views: 14935 - Clicks: 1368

The idea is so embedded in the culture that there are movies and TV shows about it and most recently people are even profiting from via self-help books on teaching men a practice known as negging :. It is about control, putting the man in charge of the interaction by pushing the woman to earn his approval. In the article, she referred to a study which suggested that some men smoke and drink because this makes them more attractive short-term partners.

Her correlation was debunked when many people rightly pointed out that badness is a lot more than drinking and smoking. Also, there have been many studies that have shown this claim to be untrue. Another found that women prefer men who are confident, easy-going and sensitive, and very few preferred men who were aggressive or demanding. Though they did like confidence and assertiveness, other studies have even shown that characteristics such as warmth, basic decency and warmth can make us appear more attractive, regardless of gender.

Though I love the feminine form, I find the appearance of hyper-masculinity incredibly sexy my latest crush is Henry Cavill as Geralt in The Witcher. I am attracted to the look, but I like my men with gooey insides — I find kindness a turn on, and I do go for nice guys. After all, these days, it is getting impossible to decipher the wolves from the sheep just from appearance. However, I am not every woman, so I decided to write a piece on the many reasons why certain men may be getting passed over. I have had many friends come up and ask me why women go for bad guys.

Though I think more often than not, this statement is simply not true. Some indeed go for guys who they know will break their heart. For some, these men are all they think they deserve. They see the mistreatment and pain as love. Narcissists, for example, are often perceived as very attractive when you initially meet them due to them putting a lot of effort into their appearance and their charm. Other women may have already fallen in love, moved in or perhaps even already had before knowing they are with an abuser. The isolation from friends happens during the honeymoon stage of the relationship, so once the abuse starts, it is harder to break free, which is why it takes women on average seven attempts at leaving before she goes for good.

Many fall into the trap of believing being kind is all that it takes and in turn lack in personality. I have gone on dates with guys who lacked any substance. Most women like confidence and assertiveness not to be mistaken for being domineering or controlling. I am an independent woman, but I need a co-captain who will also take charge. Predicability can get a little dull.

They leave out favours and breadcrumbs in the hopes of catching bait. Nor do they need to megaphone their greatness and accomplishments at every single turn because they are too busy being genuinely kind. In reality, there are only so many times the same issue can occur before we clock that the problem is you. Nice guys tend to be people-pleasers due to everything they do being goal orientated. Many have an agenda to give with the expectation of receiving, which makes everything feel fake. Nor is kindness a gateway into relationships. It takes more than that. There is nothing more offputting than a male friend thinking you owe them sex for doing the bare-minimum requirement of human decency.

These men are snakes trying to pretend to be a Labrador. The men who tend to get stuck in the friend-zone might not be attractive enough on their own physically, socially, or otherwise , and so try to compensate for their shortcomings by investing in women more than their peers. In other words, they might use kindness to try and make up for what they lack elsewhere. Which I have to agree with. Even when there was never any attraction there. I have had male friends shoot for the moon with girls they would never have a chance with, hoping that by being kind, they could somehow get there.

I personally blame movies and TV shows. The media we consume has been male-dominated for so long and has obscured real life. Hollywood has a problem when it comes to casting. It was found that many movies feature couples that could be father and daughter on average the age difference is 20 years. There is also a difference regarding appearance. Whereas men are allowed to age on screen, many actresses hit their peak in their early 20s, and the roles start dwindling. There have been many times I have watched movies where an average male actor is paired up with a super modelesque woman.

All this, I believe, has given us a warped sense of how attraction works. As Sex With T. See, the problem with this scenario is this: too many average men believe a woman should lower her standards whatever they may be to be with them, regardless of what her options may be. As they say, entitlement breeds contempt. A lot of men would sooner listen to the advice of other men than listen to women. We look for genuine connections, someone who can be our confidant and friend. Someone who listens. Not someone who plays fast and hard, giving love to every woman he can get his hands on in the hopes to catch one.

Nor does being nice make up for the other things you are lacking. There is no prize for doing the bare minimum. A new intersectional publication, geared towards voices, values, and identities! Medium is an open platform where million readers come to find insightful and dynamic thinking. Here, expert and undiscovered voices alike dive into the heart of any topic and bring new ideas to the surface.

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Simplelooking for a nice guy

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